U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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