I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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