idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
