boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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