sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize