I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
