I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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