were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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