Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
