Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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