Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
