Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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