yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
