Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so that wasnt chicken after all
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
