can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
