Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
