I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
