who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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