I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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