is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
