never play flip cup with pint glasses
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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