ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
