Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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