just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
