There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
