We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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