Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.