I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
