Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(330): View more from Ohio

It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table

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(317): View more from Indiana

you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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(818): View more from California

You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

(1-818): View more from California

Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

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(775): View more from Nevada

You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.

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