I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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