Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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