He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
