i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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