She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize