Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
