You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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