this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
