no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
