guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
