To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
