im drinking this country out of the recession.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
this hospital has no fireball
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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