Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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