Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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