I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
