she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
