They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
