WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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