cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
