All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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