I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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