I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Alive.
So much puke
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am available for nakedness
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
