I'm eating all of the evidence.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
