i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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