That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
