I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
