this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
