so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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