Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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