Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize