I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize