I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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