Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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