Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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