Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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