My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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