I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm at about main and main street
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize