So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
