Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
