Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
