She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
